Patient story

Looking out of my ear at my wife

Man, 40s  ·  Alaska, USA
What happened?
What was a moment of kindness from the ICU that you will never forget?

I remember waking up slightly because a nurse was squeezing my toes. She said my name so softly as to not frighten me, and introduced herself and said she was my personal attending nurse for the day. I was so comforted by this — it was very surreal. I did not have any idea what was happening or even where I was, but this nurse was so kind and patient that all that didn't matter. I don't know — maybe it was an angel?

What is something you found funny in the ICU?

When I was coasting in and out of sedation, I swear the ICU had a train in it — like the ones at Disneyland that used to take you from the parking lot to the front gate. Of course it did not, but the staff were being so kind in my delusions.

What is a small detail from your ICU experience that stands out to you?

The lighting. I remember it being so incredibly bright. I remember a few times when they came rushing into the room it was like they turned on the sun in front of my face. Then when they were off, the lighting in the halls and nurses' station was so bright to me it made everyone look like shadows. That was excessively scary to me.

Did you meet anyone interesting in ICU?

One of the doctors I met stood out. He was so sharply dressed and spoke with such class and knowledge. He commanded the room, and I remember that when he began to speak, no matter what was happening, everyone stopped to listen. He did not seem mean or a jerk, nor did anyone seem nervous or scared of him — he was just one of those people who are at the very top of their profession. That same doctor was, according to my wife, the one who made the big decisions. He was also the pulmonary specialist and the hospitalist in charge of my ultimate care.

Did you experience anything strange or other-worldly in the ICU?
What part of your ICU experience do you wish you got to talk about more, but somehow never do?

I have been trying to understand what my wife went through — the terrible possibilities, the heartbreak, the emotional toll. What she talked about with my kids, how they handled it. They are all concerned that if they tell me it could affect me too much. I want to talk about it, but I also don't want to stoke the hurtful experiences they had during this, or drag on the healing process. I give them all the time they need — but if it never happens, that's OK too.

What part of your ICU experience do you not talk about often because you think it might scare people?

Basically, when you are in the ICU you are a newborn baby. You can't do anything for yourself — you can't wash, breathe, eat, use the bathroom, or walk. The total reliance on the professionals and their abilities is sobering. Nurses are a gift from God and they are very special people.

What did you find surprising or unexpected during your recovery?

How fast my body became unable to do something as simple as walking. Being sedated and lying on your back for 30 days evaporates muscles, and I have had to spend the last six months getting to the point where my body does not hurt just walking to the bathroom. I stood for the first time in over a month on February 5th using a Sara Stedy, and it was intensely hard.

What was the single most helpful thing for your recovery?

My family and friends. Most importantly, my wife. She was a rock star throughout the whole ordeal — the rock I held onto when the waves tried to sweep me away. My friends coming to visit kept me alert and hopeful. They were there when I needed them the most, and to know that some people don't have such things makes me exceedingly sad.

What is a story or observation from the ICU that you have never told anyone?
How did your experience in the ICU change you?